I got a full night’s sleep
The weather was gorgeous
Football pre-season started today
I got out of work early
…it was supposed to be a good day.
Why do I suddenly feel so terrible?
Like I’m wasting my life. My pathetic life. I could die tomorrow and only a handful of people would notice. I’m so tired of being this way. It’s like I used up all of my happy and now I’m left with all this self loathing.
Why am I not good enough for anybody…including myself? I just want to feel needed for once. I just want to feel like I belong somewhere in this fucked up train wreck I call life.
I just want somebody to hold me and tell me that it’s all gonna be alright.
Even if it’s a lie.
I’m never going to be alright.
Not pretty enough. Not skinny enough. Not smart enough. Not cool enough. Not talented enough. Not fun enough. Not rich enough.
I’m just a stupid girl with stupid dreams trying to get through this ridiculous life.
I’m so tired of trying.
So very tired.